On Dreaming in Darkness
This is the dream time. When the darkness outlasts the light, we tend to turn inward. For some that is a welcome respite from a busy world and the demands we face every day. For others such solitude is loneliness, and isolation. The darkness can be overwhelming. We can easily focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses. Especially when the cold is accompanied by aches reminding us of old wounds of the body or heart, and places that didn't heal quite right. Whether it's an old sports injury or an unresolved conflict with a loved one, this time of cold and dark brings it forth. Sometimes we aren't even aware of what is causing our distress. But we know it's there.
At the same time, we are bombarded with CHEER! Smile! Buy this! Do that! Jingle jangle, smile for the family photo that will be the one image sent out to the masses that don't see your faces any other time except on that holiday card that has to be PERFECT. And follow that up with New Year’s resolutions. Promise that next year will be even bigger, better, brighter!
There is a danger in perfection. You see, perfection isn't human. It's not how we are built, yet somehow we strive for it. It makes for dark times.
Moshe Feldenkrais said, "Find your true weakness and surrender to it. Therein lies the path to genius. Most people spend their lives using their strengths to overcome or cover up their weaknesses. Those few who use their strengths to incorporate their weaknesses, who don’t divide themselves, those people...lead their generation."
““Find your true weakness and surrender to it. Therein lies the path to genius.”
Could it be that incorporating the places we are weak and broken will lead to genius? Following this philosophy, in working with the Feldenkrais Method™ we build awareness. Awareness of both our strengths and weaknesses. Both the light and the dark. So that we have more choices. More and increasingly varied ways to move our bodies, more creative ways to think and problem solve. In the process, we are encouraged to make mistakes. Lots of them. And the more we strive for perfection, to do it right, to avoid the mistake, the more we are limiting ourselves and our human potential.
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
And as Maya Angelou so famously said, we will learn to do better.
But we don't forget the old pattern, the old habit. We incorporate it, and use it to strengthen us, to enrich our experience. Because the light and the darkness exist together. As we do. In our families, in our communities, we have the potential to incorporate the parts that appear as weaknesses in order to strengthen the whole.
While this time of long dark days can feel lonely and isolating, there is a light. Sometimes we are the light. Sometimes we need the light of another to help anchor us. No matter what role we are in, we are both the weakness and the strength. I believe these two things can and do exist side by side. What if it's already ok? What if it’s already perfect? By reaching out, connecting through art, or even just a simple smile, we spread the light and bolster our own.
